Sshh!…Don’t Tell Him I Told You #2

Guess what day it is today. That’s right, today is Friday and just in time for another segment of Sshh!…Don’t Tell Him I Told You.

On Saturday night I was out with what is now an ex-boyfriend and his best friend in the back seat of his red Ford Escort. “Berry” he called her (you know, his car). It’s ok, it’s a guy thing but anyway, it was late, about 12 am. We were coming back from a late night movie and stopped to get something to eat before going home. We stopped underneath the golden arches of McDonald’s and pulled into the drive thru.

Everybody in the car orders and he says, “Can I get aaaaa a large fry with a large Pepsi, and aaaa- a double burger combo with a Coke and a, let’s see….I’ma have aaaa———, can I get aahhhh—–, I don’t know aaahh—–…” It was one of those moments where you look at the menu and you look at him. He’s still over there singing the “aahhh” song sound like Bill Cosby stuck on crack. Then you try to suggest something, cars are lining up behind you, and he’s still over there doing his Heathcliff Huxtable impersonation. Then the thought is contagious because of course, that makes you want to laugh but you don’t want to laugh at him so I look out the window. And who’s gaze do I catch in the side mirror but the friend in the back seat who is visibly sitting back there trying to hold back the laughter covering his mouth with one hand with the other braced on his knee barely holding in the laughter. He keeps sounding like he’s trying to hold a sneeze in trying not to laugh at Mr. J-E-L-L-O over there.

We hollered, cried, coughed and choked. It was impossible. There was just no way we could have possibly kept a straight face if we tried to. Comedy like that, I do believe the idol himself would have said, “My boyee!”

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